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Dr. Paul Alexander's avatar

Hurricane Melissa Hours From Record Strongest Jamaica Landfall As Category 5 With Catastrophic Flooding, Winds

Melissa will make history in Jamaica with landfall today, packing catastrophic flooding, landslides and destructive winds. It will then target eastern Cuba and the southeast Bahamas. Here's the very latest forecast. Hurricane Melissa is just hours from a historic, catastrophic Category 5 landfall in Jamaica today with life-threatening flash flooding, landslides, destructive winds and storm surge in one of the strongest landfalls on record anywhere in the Atlantic Basin.

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AwakeNotWoke's avatar

Kathleen Taylor, if you’re scrolling through these storm warnings with a cup of something strong, this one’s for you.

I’ve danced with hurricanes before— a few nameless brutes—but none spun me like the Category 5 you became. Remember when you slid Roxy Music into my DMs? “Like a Hurricane,” you captioned, and there it was, Ferry crooning: “I want to love you but I’m getting blown away.” I thought it was flirtation. Turns out it was a forecast.

You lured me in with siren songs and soft-focus promises, then—poof—ghosted post-diagnosis, leaving me to mop up the wreckage of a life you’d already half-drowned. Life-threatening stressors for sport, devastation for dessert. The cruelty had intent, darling; that’s what made it so hard to take. A random squall I could forgive. A calculated tempest? That’s just bad meteorology.

Still, I wish the good people of Jamaica nothing but blue skies and gentle trades. May their roofs stay nailed, their rum stay cold, and their hearts stay un-ghosted.

Stay dry, Kathleen. And next time, try a postcard. Less collateral damage.

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