59 Comments

My dad always told me this. Never go with them. Fight for your life right then and there because you do not want the death that awaits you elsewhere.

Expand full comment

Better yet Dr. Alexander. We should train our daughters how to use a firearm and learn to always carry concealed. Never again should a woman be a victim of rape or violence. The pistol is the great equalizer. Any Man Even 400lb’s can be taken down by a 70LB woman who is trained and armed.

Expand full comment

I’m just learning at 56.

Thankful. Better late than never. ( I went through some things, years ago)

Glad to be a Florida resident.

Expand full comment

That’s exactly why it’s called a SECONDARY CRIME SCENE. When I was much younger (about 20 y/o and gorgeous-lol),my father gave me the book “The Only Living Witness”, the biography of Ted Bundy. It scared the living crap out of me! I’m 58, a former deputy, and I STILL think about that book! Especially going out into a parking lot, day or night…head on the swivel! And don’t judge a book by its cover…the clean cut, handsome, nice guy, could be a whack job. Just like Ted Bundy.

Expand full comment

Yes!

Never trust a van parked by you.

Get in the opposite side.

Expand full comment

I call them “date rape vans”…always have.

Expand full comment

No kidding right

Expand full comment

Totally agree. Listen to a lot of crime podcasts. I think every teenage girl should. Or get Nancy Grace's book, "don't be a victim". But especially the podcasts...often survivors of Heinous crimes are interviewed and or their close relations, friends, spouses. It really gives one a strong desire to be watchful. I don't walk around fearful, but I sure as heck pay attention. I live in a rural area. The other day while driving home, I saw a pretty girl, maybe late teens or early 20s, walking on my side of a lonely country road, WEARING HEADPHONES. I wanted to scream at her to walk on the other side, facing traffic and to take off the damned headphones...it would have been a cinch for some predator to hit her and kidnap her! I was really upset at her ignorance. :-(((

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
Expand full comment

“The Gift of Fear” is another book I read years ago. We have intuition and instinct for a reason! Fear IS a gift to protect us and keep us safe. It’s when people ignore it (they think they’re overreacting or silly), that they wish they hadn’t. It’s like changing a test answer at the last minute, and you were right with your original answer. Don’t second guess yourself! You have the creeps for a REASON!

Expand full comment

Remember, you are always your own "first responder". You can depend on nobody else. When seconds count, police are minutes away (and may not help anyway). Carry what you legally can-- a firearm, a knife, pepper spray, etc. Train like your life depends on it, because it very well may. Get professional training when and where you can. Your attacher(s) is an animal and you must bring yourself to act on their level. Above all, be aware of your surroundings, what is happening around you, and have practiced methods to react and respond. Remember, you alone are responsible for your own self-defense and that of your loved ones.

Expand full comment

👏👍❤ Excellent advice!

And Dr. Alexander is spot on re: leaving primary location.

Expand full comment

And scream. Make as much noise and commotion as you can.

Expand full comment

Here's a basic habit to practice that saved a friend's life. Before you get in your vehicle, every time, look in the window to make sure no one is hiding lying on the floorboards behind the seats. Look again as you open your driver's door. Many have been abducted once driving by criminals they didn't even know were already in the car. Simple habit.

Expand full comment

Dr. Alexander, I love your common sense and logical advice here and in all your writings. Thank you for relaying this essential instruction. You inspire many of us to be brave as you are in word and deed.

Expand full comment

Forwarded to my daughter. Thank you for the reminder.

Expand full comment

Me too! And to rest of fam!

Expand full comment

I have 3 stepsons, all police officers. I know how to use a gun. I have been advised to always protect myself. It can happen anywhere under current circumstances. We were told if an intruder approaches our home, shoot him if he tries to enter. If he lands outside, drag him in the door to avoid prosecution.

Expand full comment

Yep. Krav Maga, even if you never get "good" at it (and other street fighting down and dirty styles) will teach you to tap into that inner fury if you worry that you lack it. Most fights or incidents are decided in a few vital seconds and it's important to know that you DO have that in you.

Expand full comment

So glad you brought this up Dr. Alexander. Thank you

I had special training, here are some of the highlights.

1. Don't walk down the street with ear phones in. You can't hear someone coming up behind you, and you're not paying attention.

2. Put your back to a wall when using the phone. Inside a corner is ideal.

3. Many work in teams, taking your picture and passing it on to the next one. If you see someone constantly looking at you, the phone then you again, maybe they're part of a team. Go into any store, and look around for a few minutes. Check to see if the person is still outside. I had this happen when I was waiting for a subway, then another man got on, same thing, look at me the phone, etc. When I got off, he got off. Saw a security guard, ran up to him and hugged him. The clown ran like hell, the guard was ready to have me committed. But it did the job.

4. Do something unexpected, especially if there's no one around. Start screaming, waving your arms, and run towards them. They don't like to mess with mentally ill people, and will probably run away. Use this if there's no place to go, no one around. This happened at 6 AM.

5. If you work at night, or are out late, carry an alarm, in your hand, not your purse.

Expand full comment

Excellent advice and love u hugging that guy! You are very wise! We must be aware of our environment today, so many are so

Distracted with earphones or walking looking down at phones.. such easy prey!

I forwarded this to daughter n fam and will tell her to forward to friends. I may just do a little teaching on this when her friends come

Over and gift them all a little alarm or mace:) We do carry those alarms in purse and walk with it in hand if ever out somewhere sketchy .. but we need to refresh all this..

Thanks yo u n Doc we will review again!

Expand full comment

Thank you for your kind words.

Forgot the most important one, woke up in the middle of the night:

If someone comes behind you, grabs you around the neck, MAKE IT A REFLEX: immediately chin to chest, bone to bone, to protect the windpipe, fast - bend down to the side, into a squatting position. You will throw them off their equilibrium. This needs to be practiced to become instinctual. It's also fun. I am about 5'3, and floored a guy almost 6', and he knew I was going to do it. Everyone thought it was funny, except him. Oops

Expand full comment

Ha ! I'm

Imagining you taking down that giant👌

Thanks for info.. will be tryin it ( happily) this weekend with fam!

Expand full comment

It does take practice, no heroes or heroines please. Once mastered, it becomes instinct. Trying to loosen someone's grip is a waste of precious seconds.

Bonne chance.

Expand full comment

Best advice ever, saved my ass once!

Expand full comment

Mine as well...I was 20.Ambushed on my street walking home,he had a knife.I screamed bloody hell and he fled...but first slashed my abdomen and my left side...the thick wool jacket,vest,high waist band on my skirt helped...they never caught the perp.I'm 70 now and you have to always be situationally aware.This is accurate,sound advice here...

Expand full comment

Damn.

Expand full comment

Intense! But thank you for the good advice, it makes a lot of sense!

Expand full comment

Wow. Very random but very based.

Expand full comment

You are absolutely right. Fight like hell!!!

Expand full comment